June 29 aka Sorrows

I am deeply sorry that I have not been updating like I said I would have been. To be honest I am not the greatest fan of writing. I am at the point in my life where I dont give a crap. I could care less about feelings and pretty much anything. I am become more selfish. I have become more drained. I feel like a walking zombie some days. I don't now how to feel anymore. I have not cried like tons of tears falling down my face in a long time. I am lucky to shed a tear or two. Movies help a bit. I am ready to be done with... crap. I have not been truly happy for awhile now. I mean yes I was happy to be blessed with a camera and computer! Omg BLESSED! I owe so much to God and my family. They have done so much for me. I feel awful not to be more happier. I have an idea why I'm not but... I rather not get into it. But lately I have been into poets and little bit of poetry. I am excited to register for my classes in the fall but the stupid website wont load up!!! UGH! Check my other blogs. I am going to be updating my Random Time blog. Also check out my summer bucket list. My friend sarah and I have been doing that lately.

June 11 aka Future

Oh dear lord above me, help me.
Today I had a meeting with my senor adviser about what classes I should take at CCC. After allot of talking. All I need to do is take my placement test and a session for 3 free classes. I will be no matter what (unless God calls me somewhere new) be going to Biola next year. I am sooo excited. After having the meeting I was pumped yet scarred. I looked over to my mom. She had tears in her eyes asking me why I have to grow up. I did my best not to cry with her (Im doing this thing where I try not to cry) Anyways, I love my parents, and I know how tough this is for them. But I am so grateful from everything I have learned from them. They are truly amazing parents that love me. I rather feel like they love me enough to stay then not wanting me to stay and kick me out. I have had a wonderful childhood. I have had more good times then bad. They were always there for me. Just because I am growing up does not mean I will not call them every chance I get. Visit as often as I can. My love for them will only grow.. not fade. I love you mom and dad. You guys mean the world to me. Thank you for being such great parents. I hope one day I can be half the parent you were to me. (maybe a tad better. lol just kidding)

Everyone, love your family they are the only ones who truly love you on this earth. Yes you guys may fight but stop being stubborn. Put your pride away and love your parents back.

Ta Ta For Now

June 10 aka News

Its Thursday. noon, and raining. This morning I went to Molalla High School to have a meeting. The meeting was about having a youth newspaper. They need photographers (which with my new Nikon D4o aka Finn, would be perfect use.) And I could also write a little. It sounds perfect for my uneventful summer. I can not believe how fast this year has been. Yet I am so glad it is going by fast. 3 days until my 18 birthday. 4 days until graduation. I am ready for this life. As long as God is with me by my side. Well I know this is short. But today has been short so far. I will be sure to write soon again. Have a nice week readers. Toodles

June8th 2010 aka Forgiveness

Today, was kinda sorta interesting. I forgave an old friend, and I asked if she would forgive me as well. Feeling better about things but I know things still won't be the way it use to be. Which is okay. But, today I can stop thinking about what forgiveness means. Why was I forgiving someone who has sorta hurt me but has hurt my friends the most? Was it because she was saying it so I felt obligated to do it? Was it because I would look bad upon if I don't? First I felt like that. But now I came to the conclusion its because I wanted too. I didn't want to become bitter. God forgave me.. so I am able to forgive others as well. I still may feel hurt, but at least I know I won't hold a grudge. I love her and I always will. But again I say things will not be peachy. I have learned from this, so put aside my knowledge but embrace it in love. I know it is simple but it will be a big step later on in my life. So readers, though it may be hard, I know that we are all stubborn, but put away anger, bitterness, and pride and forgive. Just like how God forgives us each day. Peace Out!

June 7th 2010. Aka Choices.

I hate making choices. And sadly I'm coming to the age to make choices that I have to make for the best for me. Not to please my parents or God because I have too. But now because I want too. I have to make a choice today. So I am going to God to help me. I know its not a super big choice but to me its my first choice to make on my own. I rather have my choice be right then wrong on the first time. Its my time to prove where I stand and how I give myself to people. I am fighter but that doesn't mean I step into the fighting field. I rather have my opponent believe that they have won. But in reality I am the one winning because I am not playing their games. I am not going to act that I am losing to my opponent. I want to make sure that they get a clear view on where I stand with them. Wish me luck on my first choice in this life on my own. Pray for me and pray that God speaks to me on what I should do. Have a great rest of the week readers. Remember I have more then just one blog.. Lets stay in touch.

Journal

"Move Along" will be my journal on what I am doing. I am going to try to Journal 3 times a week at the very least. If you haven't guess already the title of "Move Along" come from All American Rejects. I love the lyric "And even when your hope is gone, Move Along." (Do not own this song. Just love the lyrics) I think it is such a great song with powerful lyrics of wisdom. I hope you enjoy reading my journals this summer.